


this is where I let go

by B2Min



Series: The tiger and the turtle [2]
Category: NU'EST
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-04-23 03:58:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14324070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/B2Min/pseuds/B2Min
Summary: It's been a long, slow fall and maybe it's time for Dongho to find out if Jonghyun will be the one to catch him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [akanemnida](https://archiveofourown.org/users/akanemnida/gifts).



> Happy birthday or how to say 'I love you' with a fic (even if it's a WIP)

He never thought it would be an actual relief to _not_ be in love with his best friend.

At least that's how he saw it when Minhyun had told him he was in a relationship. It was so cute, how excited and yet how scared Minhyun had seemed when he told Dongho that one, he was in love and two, he had a boyfriend now.

"That's great, Minhyun-ah. I'm happy for you." Never mind that Minhyun was telling him this while using Dongho's stomach as a pillow.

Having less than...'accepted' gender preferences was something no one talked about out loud in idol circles. It was all about signals, hoping you didn't get crossed or wrong signals and making sure you just never discussed it in a way anyone could use it against you.

So Dongho knew that it took a lot for Minhyun to come right out to say 'boyfriend' to him. Not lover, not some ambiguous term, but _boyfriend_.

The both of them had been so close; closest of all of the five that it was easy for people to think there was something else going on. The ease which they spoke to each other, held each other and spent time together. But it was just simply that of all people it was the easiest to be whoever they were with each other.

No subterfuge, no hidden thoughts, no fear. Sometimes, Dongho did think Minhyun was really attractive. That he, most of all, loved to watch the sun illuminate Minhyun's skin in the early morning or that golden hour before it set.

He loved Minhyun, but he wasn't in love with him. That distinction, perhaps, was what kept them together through everything and anything.

"What about you, Dongho-yah? Is there...anyone you think about more? More than me at least." Minhyun's eyebrow waggle was halted by Dongho's not-so-light tap with a pillow.

"I don't know how I've managed to put up with your ridiculous ego." "Because you love me." Dongho just grunted in reply.

It was one of the few rare days they managed to both be in the same place, taking a break away from the glare of the media and fansites. They needed it -Nu'est W's concert was coming up soon and Wanna One had a punishing schedule all lined up for their next comeback.

Thank god for easily accessible food delivery and the privacy of a dorm room.

"You'll tell me, right, when you find someone?" Dongho nodded. Not like Minhyun didn't already know he would.

Dating could just be a hassle and awkward when you were an idol - he wouldn't date anyone in the agency, it would be like dating family. No way he'd date staff; he'd heard enough horror stories to be put off that idea.

There'd be the odd blind date; sometimes his hyungs would set him up with friends of friends. But it'd never gotten past the third date; either one or both would lose interest after.

He didn't understand, this thing people called 'chemistry'. Minhyun had tried explaining it to him - how it meant they 'clicked' whatever that meant and the way Minhyun described it..."But isn't that what we have, Minhyun-ah?"

"It's not...quite that? I mean, it's not like you want to sleep with me," Minhyun laughed, nervously.

"I haven't tried so how would I know?" In answer, Minhyun had given him a withering look.

With an exasperated sigh, Minhyun had tried to show him by...kissing him. Well, it wasn't bad. But he wasn't going to do it again - kiss Minhyun, that is. Kissing a guy was surprisingly not difficult. Kissing his best friend? Please, no.

"Tell me I'm a good kisser, Dongho-ya." "I don't know, I wouldn't know what a good kiss was so maybe I can't compare?" This had led to a whole hour of Minhyun sulking and a hole in Dongho's wallet from all the galbi-jim he had to buy him to make up for Minhyun's bruised ego.

It got Dongho wondering about who he really wanted to kiss - sure, he'd imagined kissing a few specific girls. And found the reality to be quite disappointing.

Would it be different with someone else? Maybe...just maybe he was just looking in all the wrong places?

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Minhyun being able to spend just a day, doing pretty much nothing, and with Dongho to boot was rare. Most of the time he'd be just following his ridiculous schedule and at most maybe catching a bite to eat with whoever he could.

Dongho really, really missed having Minhyun around. He even looked back fondly on the mornings when Minhyun would wake him up while nagging at him about the state of his room - which was why he usually liked having Aron wake him up instead.

These days, though, it was Jonghyun playing the role of Dongho's personal wake-up call.  Maybe it was because they had one less member, he just grew even more attentive about the ones left.

2017 was just nuts - so much that happened. So much joy, tempered by so much pain. Dongho didn't think there had ever been a year he'd both cried so much and laughed so much.   
  
It wasn't just Jonghyun who'd been attentive; even Minki and Aron had been extra doting, checking in on him to the point there was rarely a moment where Dongho was ever by himself. But maybe all of them just needed to fill the empty space Minhyun used to be.

He'd even put on a fair amount of weight in the winter. Of course, it was cold but for some reason the members kept trying to stuff him with food. The pantry was always full of his favourite snacks and Jonghyun tended to sit next to him at meals, and even feed him.

Those days were over now though - prepping for the concert meant he had to watch his weight. Salad, milk and lean meats were the only things on the menu. Yet still Jonghyun would make sure he take his vitamins, nag him into sleeping early and somehow always had a bottle of water to hand Dongho when he was thirsty.

Maybe, just maybe, Jonghyun was trying to make up for Minhyun not being there for him. That was what Dongho had to tell himself when he opened his eyes to Jonghyun clucking at him to get ready for their photoshoot.

It wasn't like they hadn't done photoshoots before - heck, they'd been doing quite a few. This was for publicity material for their concert. Video too, apparently.

Putting on his suit, Dongho felt relieved he'd bothered to diet. The shirt looked good but the fit was exact and he hoped his buttons wouldn't decide to make a run for it while he was posing.

"Hey, let's try a new kind of pose!" Dongho had no idea what 'new' could be - until Jonghyun stretched his arm in front of Dongho's chest, as though shielding him like a bodyguard.

Even the pictures showed Dongho's slightly incredulous expression. The pose was weird, but cute. Jonghyun made _everything_ look cute. If Dongho tried it, he thought he'd just look dumb though he was sure the other members would just coo at him and call it adorable.

And then Jonghyun took Dongho's arm, slung it around his own shoulder, and intertwined their fingers...before suddenly breaking away, having apparently weirded himself out.

"I'm never going to wash my hand again!" Dongho had joked. But the reality was that he could somewhat relate to the way Jonghyun reacted. Maybe it was just static electricity, perhaps he had just imagined it. It just felt so different from holding Minyun's hand - and he held Minhyun's hand a lot.

Holding Minhyun's hand felt safe and as comforting as home, but Jonghyun's hand felt as though it was taking him to a different place. Somewhere he'd never gone.

He didn't quite know just what to do with this new feeling.


	3. Chapter 3

Jonghyun hadn’t expected the others not to wait for him to finish his shoot. Not even one of them texted to check if he was done - all instead opting to go back and rest before him.

He knew it was probably just their way of pranking him but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t hurt by it. Of course there was nothing to worry about this time - it wasn’t like the Japan days where they had to figure their own way around, with no guarantee of transportation being provided. 

Still, when he found Dongho up, he felt his irritation recede a little.

Feigning nonchalance he asked Dongho what he was still doing up.

“Waiting for you.” Dongho said, yawning.

“Now you’re back, I’ll go and sleep now.”

“Aron and Minki sleeping?” He wondered whose idea was it to have someone post watch for him. Did Dongho pull the short straw? Lose a game of rock, paper and scissors?

“Yeah they were really tired and went to bed right after showering. I’m usually up late anyway so I thought I’d wait around for you. Need anything?”

Jonghyun shook his head.

_When had Dongho become this thoughtful?_

I guess they all grew up, in a way, at some point. He still remembered the days when Dongho would go as far as lying about schedules, just to sleep in more.

“I’m good. Tired, though. Gonna go shower and turn in. You can go sleep if you want…and thanks. For waiting, even if you didn’t have to.”

Dongho just smiled. “It’s fine. Rest well, Jonghyun-ah.”

Jonghyun was barely going through the motions of cleaning up; even brushing his teeth felt like too much work but he did it anyway. Get clean, get dressed, get sleep.

As he walked to his room, a funny thought came to him. He walked over to Dongho’s room and tested the knob. It wasn’t locked so he supposed it would be fine. 

He quietly stepped in, softly closing the door behind him. 

“Dongho? You up?”

“Mmm. Was just about to fall asleep, though. Anything wrong?”

“No…not really. This is going to sound weird but, is it OK if I slept here tonight?”

Dongho blinked at him. Or at least that’s what Jonghyun thought he saw in the dim light.

“…kay.” He moved from the centre of the bed, scooting instead to the side.

Sleeping in the same bed with Dongho wasn’t something he’d done - sure, in the early days they’d all just slept together out in the open. Minki would bunk with Dongho when he had nightmares and Minhyun would sometimes prefer to squeeze into Dongho’s bed instead of sleeping in his own when they roomed together.

Dongho didn’t ask much else. No ‘why’, no ‘you have your own bed, Jonghyun-ah’. Just ‘do you need another blanket’ and ‘comfortable enough for you?’.

It wasn’t long before the warmth of the sheets and Dongho’s body lulled him into that relaxed state of just-about-to-fall-asleep.

He turned over to his right, to see Dongho already fast asleep. The sensation of a familiar body next to his, hearing the sound of Dongho’s breathing was just…nice.

Nice enough he soon found himself crawling into Dongho’s bed more often than not. Dongho continued not to ask questions, quietly making room for him in the bed. 

Still it took a few nights before Dongho reached out to a just-settled Jonghyun to pull him close. Being enclosed in Dongho’s strong arms took a little getting used to - at first he wondered why Minki never worried about being squeezed breathless in his sleep. Dongho’s grip was iron - wriggling out if he still wasn’t up yet was an exercise in exasperation. Easier just to wait for Dongho to eventually stir. 

The nights he liked most, though, were when he’d be sleeping facing Dongho instead of away and Dongho would still pull him close. Nearly nose-to-nose, their pillows practically melded into one. 

Those nights, he slept the best.


	4. Chapter 4

Dongho wasn't sure how to feel about Jonghyun's near-daily appearance in his bed.

It was confusing at first - he knew if Minki was in his bed, it was from a scary dream or scary movie (the dumbass would still watch them even if they scared him shitless). If it was Minhyun, it was just him acting as though he'd been starved of human touch as usual.

Now it was Jonghyun who was taking up the other side of his bed to the point where he would actually sleep less soundly on the rare nights Jonghyun wasn't there to be his human bolster.

He'd gotten used to it, he realised. The first couple of nights, he'd pretended to be asleep, instead just waiting until he was sure Jonghyun had nodded off. He'd lain there, staring at the back of Jonghyun's head trying to make sense of the situation.

Anyone else, he'd just grab them close for a cuddle since that was what they'd expect anyhow. Now it was Jonghyun he felt hesitant about reaching his arm out, afraid his gesture would be misunderstood or worse, unwanted.

By the fourth night he gave up - he was used to having a bolster and with Jonghyun in the bed, there was less room for one. He could have fitted one anyway but he was afraid he might accidentally roll over and push Jonghyun off the edge.

He gingerly reached an arm over Jonghyun's waist, waited to see if there was any complaint - he'd watched Jonghyun enough to know the other boy wasn't quite asleep yet. Almost there, but lucid enough to still protest if he wanted to.

Jonghyun still lay there, relaxed. Not even a muscle tensed up at Dongho's touch. So he guessed Jonghyun was probably, maybe, OK with this?

Carefully, slowly, he pulled. Height-wise, they were almost the same size but Jonghyun had a smaller build. It took a teensy bit of adjustment but Dongho's head was soon a little higher on the pillow, to make it easier to tuck Jonghyun in right under his chin.

The other boy didn't move; instead just letting out a breathy little sigh. He fell asleep pretty quickly after that, Dongho following soon after.

On the nights Jonghyun slept facing him, Dongho had a looser hold, giving just the tiniest more distance so they could both lay their heads on their pillows. Dongho didn't want to accidentally smush Jonghyun's nose (his, small, cute nose) into his chest while sleeping.

And if sometimes, he stayed up a few seconds, just to watch Jonghyun sleep, marvel at his lashes and quietly laugh at his occasional cute mumbling in his sleep, who could really blame him? For a leader, Jonghyun sure was cute.

Dongho didn't know how long this would last but he was pretty sure he'd never slept better.


	5. Chapter 5

"Jonghyun-ah...Jonghyun, wake up."

Jonghyun stirred, eyes blinking. He hadn't woken up at the sound of Dongho's voice, but at Dongho easing his (usually) strong grip around Jonghyun.

It was a routine he'd gotten unwittingly used to. Sleeping soundly, waking up only when Dongho relaxed his tight hold, but he would only make an effort to move when Dongho said something.

Funny how their roles got reversed. It wasn't that long ago when Jonghyun would be the one waking Dongho up - sometimes not as gently as Dongho's morning shoulder pats.

"Mmm. I'll go clean up and check on the others."  
  
"Nah." Dongho's arms were still wrapped around Jonghyun. "They're up. They've even got breakfast ready, Minki just told me."  
  
He must have slept really well if he hadn't even woken up at Minki coming in.

"Up we get." Dongho was moving backwards, dragging Jonghyun with him, flipping the both of them upright - and once he was sure Jonghyun had his bearings, let go.

Dongho's alarm clock showed it was ten in the morning. Another day of sleeping in, after spending nights in the studio - with Jonghyun also having to slot in variety show tapings.

He rarely slept in his own room anymore - maybe napping there if he was the only one home after a TV show taping. But when Dongho was around, it'd be the both of them working on comeback songs alongside Bumzu.

Easier to just collapse into Dongho's bed after brushing his teeth at night and falling into oblivion until morning.

While they'd asked Aron and Minki if they wanted input for the new album this time around, the two of them were content to leave it up to them.

"We trust you," Aron said. "The both of you. You work well together, you understand us best. And with God-Bumzu, I don't think we could do any better."

So Jonghyun did all the rap bits, while giving input on Dongho's verses. He also felt somewhat pleased to be the first to hear the new melodies Dongho composed.

Their nights were full of studio banter, back-and-forth, over songs, ideas, routines.

"Jonghyun-ah, how does this sound?"  
  
"Jonghyun-ah try speaking over your rap this sequence."

"Jonghyun-ah don't nod off on the keyboard."

He understood now why Dongho could spend nights at the studio - he was so focused, so energised by the process that it was just enthralling to watch. A lot like the way Dongho took to dancing on stage. Sure, he'd be a bit of a mess when they'd start learning a choreo but once he mastered it, Dongho moved with a precision and power that complemented Aron's fluidity, Minki's grace and Jonghyun's sharp movements.

They didn't always work in the studio; some nights they'd hole up in Dongho's room and talk over some lyrics or have the others over, getting their feedback.

When Minhyun came back, Jonghyun knew that the dynamics would change some - it wouldn't be just the two of them.

So if Jonghyun was a little greedy - grabbing as many sessions as he could, savouring the times when it was just the two of them noodling about music while he could - he told himself he was just enjoying every moment, savouring everything as it happened.

2019 would bring new things. But at the back of his mind, he secretly wished for at least just one thing not to change (too much) - this discovery of how well they worked together.

And maybe, also, maybe how sometimes when they slept, Dongho would unconsciously weave their fingers together.

Sometimes, it's just the little things.

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

Jonghyun's used to Dongho looking good - they've done enough shoots, gone to enough red carpet events, seen each other in their best and worst looks.

He's just not used to actually _feeling something_ this time.

Blame it on the concept - _yeah, that's it_ , he thinks.

"Latin pop? Seriously?" "It worked out OK for _Super Junior_ , so why not?"

It had seemed like a joke at the time, to go from doing pop, R&B, EDM to...this.

Minki had loved it. Aron was sceptical but was now taking to walking around the house talking in a bad Spanish accent.

"Mi amigos, do you want to...salsa?" That had gotten him swatted on the head with Minki's beret.

Their stylist had squealed. _Squealed_ , when told the concept.  
  
"It's going to be sexy! So sexy!"

So long as they weren't going to be wearing pyjamas on-stage or shirts with holes where the back should have been, Jonghyun could live with sexy.

It just feels weird to him to see Dongho's hair a little mussed, artfully ruffled for the shoots...makes him think of Dongho's wavy bedhead. That he sees every morning. Dongho just likes that it takes less blowdrying. Much less than when his hair needs to be straight because Dongho's hair can be as stubborn as he is.

Dongho gets silly and shy if people try to tell him to be sexy. So it's always up to a member (unless they get a really good photographer), usually Minhyun, to give him a little help, tell him where to look.  
  
It's Jonghyun's turn this time and he kind of wishes it wasn't.

"Just keep your eyes on me, Dongho." He's not prepared for the rush of heat he feels when Dongho's eyes are trained on his.

Or how he forgets to breathe, for that one-millionth of a second, when Dongho unconsciously licks his lips.

He turns his eyes away but instead of the side he looks down, where instead, there is an expanse of chest.

Bare chest.

"Jonghyun-ah? Jonghyun?" He's broken out of his short reverie by Dongho's voice - sounding slightly concerned.

"You OK? It's your turn now for a solo shoot."

Jonghyun nods and tries his hardest to focus. But Dongho's right there.

What choice does he has but to use it? Maybe he's ill - he feels hot all of a sudden, his surroundings now too, too warm.

He looks now at Dongho, holding his gaze as he goes through the poses. Dongho doesn't look away.

Jonghyun's unsure whether he should be grateful for that or not.

Minki uses all his charm to get the photographer to let him get a glimpse of the photos on his camera - "Wah, Jonghyun-ah, your stares...they're so intense. Sexy!"

But when Minki asks if he wants a look too, Jonghyun declines. He's a little afraid of what he'll see there, that the others won't.

He doesn't see Dongho watching him as he moves away from the camera.

That night, he's resting in his own bed for once.

He wonders if he should say something to Dongho. It seems silly, though. It wasn't like they'd formalised their sleeping arrangements. Sleeping together just seemed a convenient thing to do after working late nights in the studio or holed up thinking up songs. The songs were done - he didn't have a reason not to sleep in his own room.

"Jonghyun-ah?"

Dongho's there.

"You alright? Just...you seemed a little off just now."

Jonghyun swallowed. "No, it's fine. Maybe it was the heat."

"Sure? You're not getting sick, are you?" It made him feel all soft inside to hear the obvious concern in Dongho's voice.

"It's OK, everything's fine, Dongho. You can go back to bed."

He doesn't know why he asks, but it just comes out.

"If you want, you can sleep here."

Dongho says nothing. Instead, he pads over to where Jonghyun's sleeping and this time it's him slipping under the covers where Jonghyun's made himself comfortable.

He pulls Jonghyun close as usual - not a tight hold but loose enough their bodies only barely touch.

Instead of just drifting off to sleep in the silence, Dongho's hand is moving. Brushing along the outside of Jonghyun's arm. And everywhere it goes, Jonghyun _burns_.

He sighs, a little too loud for his liking and he'd feel mortified if...Dongho stopped whatever he was doing. But Dongho doesn't. His palm gently, lightly moving across the surface of Jonghyun's arm in a soft, soothing motion.

Dongho moves the tiniest bit closer, his nose now at Jonghyun's nape. This time he's the one sighing. It takes all Jonghyun's self-control not to shudder at the sound.

Then he feels the softest, barest touch of lips to his neck. Just below his ear. Where Dongho kisses him lightly, softly.

"Goodnight, Jonghyun-ah," he hears Dongho whisper quietly.

Jonghyun's about to just say it back, but something inside him thinks it wouldn't be quite enough.

Instead, he takes one of Dongho's hands, kisses the back of it lightly. "Night, Dongho-yah."

Dongho only chuckles softly and wraps his arms around Jonghyun tighter.

Jonghyun smiles as he falls, quickly, asleep.

 


	7. Chapter 7

Jonghyun keeps touching him.

It’s a strange thing to get used to, but Dongho does. He’s used to the other members having their moments of wanting to be cuddly but with Jonghyun it’s as though the other’s fingers somehow always find a way to be in easy reach.

Sometimes it’s just a brush of shoulders, a gentle pat on his back. Other times it’s Jonghyun tucking back a wayward strand of Dongho’s hair or swiping a fallen eyelash off his cheek. Little things.

Today, the coordi-noonas have gotten them all prepped for a shoot with suits - they’re _nice_ suits this time. Dongho knew just from the feel of the fabric on his skin that these were expensive and not the weird-feeling cloth they’d endured during the Where You At comeback stages. 

Yet despite that he fidgets a little. The choker around his neck is supposed to look good but his hand won’t stop worrying at it.

Jonghyun notices.

”Dongho-yah...” He’s so close to Dongho now, both hands at the side of his neck, touching the cloth-wrapped choker.

Jonghyun’s eyes are downturned, his brow the tiniest-bit creased as he scrutinises Dongho’s neck accessory.

They’re so close their noses are almost touching. 

“Ahh,” Jonghyun says, low and quiet. 

Dongho suddenly finds it hard to breathe.

”There’s a loose string here. Let me just pull it out.”

Dongho thinks maybe it would be better the coordi-noona come over with a scissors or something. But he stills.

A deft tug is all it takes - Jonghyun judged right. 

“Thanks,” Dongho smiles at Jonghyun and Jonghyun nods, with a quick upturn of the corners of his mouth. 

Instead of moving away, Jonghyun’s hand reaches back to smooth down the choker around Dongho’s neck. 

This time his eyes aren’t on the choker. They’re looking into Dongho’s.

It occurs to him that maybe they should talk about what happened the other night. After that other shoot. 

Then the sound of Minki’s clearing his throat reminds him that the talk will have to happen another time. 

Jonghyun, startled, moves his hand quickly as though his hand burned.

They stand there, awkwardly, for a few seconds before Jonghyun turns around, resolutely headed towards where the cameras are.

His hand though reaches behind him, palm outstretched.

And what else is there for Dongho to do but take it, though this time he feels a lot warmer and he knows it really, really isn’t the suit.

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

No matter how many comebacks they’d done, Jonghyun could never really get over the nerves.

He’d managed to stop having mini-panic attacks but the anxiety would manifest in other ways - snippiness, curt replies and basically speaking as little as he could get away with.

Even after the members’ constant reminders that he could lean on them when he needed to, the old feeling of carrying a weight he didn’t feel up to bearing still lingered at times.

Only way he could put that out of his mind was to give 200% to whatever was required of them.

To think, breathe, sleep comeback.

”Dongho-yah...you don’t have to, I mean...I think I’ll be OK sleeping alone tonight,” he’d said to Dongho the night before their comeback.

Dongho had merely nodded. Nothing else needed to be said.

If Jonghyun thought he’d seen a flash of hurt in his eyes, he chalked it up to his just being tired, just imagining things.

There wasn’t a reason for Dongho to feel hurt, was there?

The next few days flew by fast enough - probably the busiest they’d been for awhile. 

Still, this was something he’d been missing. The thrill of knowing they were working, wanted, in demand. Not just him, but all of them, as a unit.

Sales were good, fansigns were packed and their comeback audiences were rapturous. 

They’d rushed right from a show to a radio show and played the usual game of talking, ribbing each other and making little member jokes.

Yet one thing stood out. Dongho saying he was ‘cold’.

”Really, Dongho-yah?” He’d teased Dongho in the van on the way back.

”You were warmer before...” Dongho had started saying, before he caught on that they weren’t alone and clammed up.

”Before what?”

”It’s nothing.” 

The rest of the journey back was quiet.

Yet Jonghyun felt he was leaving something unfinished, and it bothered him.

Enough to find himself slowly, quietly padding over to Dongho’s room, gingerly trying the doorknob to see if it was locked this time. It wasn’t so he tried to close the door as quietly and quickly as possible.

“Jonghyun?” Not quiet enough, it seemed.

”I just want to say I’m sorry,” Jonghyun began. “Just everything got me a little stressed, and if it made me mistreat you, it wasn’t what I wanted.”

”It’s OK.” Dongho’s sleepy little smile, even as he was rubbing his eyes, was so cute it made Jonghyun’s heart _hurt_.

Jonghyun sighed. He quickly made his way over to the bed, plopping himself in the centre next to Dongho.

”If...if I ever go off by myself, it’s not because I don’t want to be near you. It’s just that I need a little time to clear my head a bit. OK?” 

Dongho just nodded. Still with that cute, sleepy little smile.

That Jonghyun suddenly had the urge to, well, touch.

”You said I was cold, Dongho-yah. How warm do you want me to be then?” It was a reckless, stupid sentence. But something was making him feel more than a bit stupid right then.

Dongho no longer looked sleepy. Instead he was blinking, mouth the slightest bit open.

”I don’t...” Dongho’s cheeks were turning ever slightly flushed, as were his ears. If that wasn’t a trick of the pale light peeping from out the curtains. 

“Do you mean warm as in hot, or warm as in close?”

Jonghyun moved in closer, fitting his hand in the nook between Dongho’s neck and shoulder.

Play-flirting, silly banter was something they’d do, had done so many times, to entertain fans. But now he was trying it on for real, Jonghyun just hoped he hadn’t been reading the signals wrong all this time.

Would Dongho laugh and wave him off? Or would Dongho follow Jonghyun’s lead?

He got his answer when Dongho moved a little closer, to put both his arms around Jonghyun’s waist.

 _So we’re doing this_.

Well, he’d come this far. It wasn’t like kissing was that alien to him and he knew, like him, Dongho had kissed a few girls. When they were younger and when they didn’t have to worry about Dispatch taking 100 photos of it.

So he just let his lips follow after his eyes, letting them find their way to Dongho’s slightly parted lips.

Maybe Dongho was sleepy, maybe he was letting Jonghyun take the lead (as always) but he was relaxing into the kiss, his response being just his fingers drawing little circles on Jonghyun’s back.

It felt, not odd, but comforting. Comfortable. It felt a lot like home. Jonghyun could see himself doing this, again. A lot. 

When he finally moved away from Dongho’s lips, Jonghyun couldn’t help a little smirk.

”Is that _warm_ enough for you, Dongho-yah?”

Dongho’s brow furrowed a little.

”I’m not sure. Maybe we can try again so I can decide?”

They both laughed, not too loudly (wouldn’t do to wake the others) and as Jonghyun scooted a little closer, let himself fall into this new, warmer, feeling, he decided he really didn’t need his own room after all.

Dongho would sleep through his occasional game or anime binges anyhow and at least he didn’t hog the bathroom like Minki would. Minhyun would probably appreciate having his own room once he moved back in.

He’d bring the topic up with Dongho. Once they were done kissing. And through the haze from which he was looking through, he was pretty sure it would take awhile.

Right now this was enough. They were enough. And all it took, Jonghyun’s last coherent thought was, just him choosing the right bed, and, most importantly, the right person.

 


End file.
